Tuesday, November 8, 2011

What's next on my list? Main Street

Oh, my God. Why did this movie happen? Let me quote commentator a-koan from imdb.com:
"Spoilers maybe, tho there's nothing to spoil"

As lovely as that sounds, that is all you need to know. And that is all the movie is.


We are in a “little town”, Durham to be precise where, during the night a misterious Southern man arrives, Gus Leroy. He arrives with big trucks, he raises questions, makes you interested. He is renting a the warehouse of an older lady, Georgiana Carr. And what does he use this warehouse for? It stays a mystery, as he says to his men that they are not allowed to speak English with the towns people but have to pretend to not understand them… Georgiana is on the verge of selling her big house, she can’t live in it alone, she doesn’t have the money. Not only that, but she is a lonely woman, her only companion is her niece, Willa. Every now and then Willa comes over to iove her some company (even though, it feels like she lives with her!).

We are also introduced to a young cop, Harris Parker, who spends his nights in law school to get back his girlfriend Mary Saunders. She is now dating her boss at the law firms where she works, only to find out that he is married with children. During the movie we find out that Gus is actually in the business of transporting toxic waste. He needs a stop in Durham, because his company has been collecting now from all over the US and they would like to expand as well. He reaches the town’s mayor, telling him that, in order to work with Durham, he would pay considerable amounts of money, which would help Durham grow. On the other hand Georgiana is concerned and she wants to take her warehouse back, even though she needs the money to pay for her house. Mary decides to leave town, because she apparently hates it here, and asks Harris to drive her to the airport. As they head out, a big-big storm arrives. They can hardly see through the windows of the cars and at the same time we see the big trucks loaded with toxic waste headed to Texas depart as well. The music raises tention. In the mean time Gus is presenting his idea to the city members and the board of directors of the town. The music gets stronger. The trucks have the same problem as Harris, they can hardly see in this weather. Harris confesses his love to Mary, who says that she loves him too, but she needs to get away from here as soon as possible. Harris gets a call on the radio, there has been an accident. Gus rashes over, as it seems the accident was with his trucks. The trucks slipped and fell into a pit. But the containers weren’t hurt so the toxic waste was not spilled and no one was injured. In the end we have a monologue from Gus about how ugly the world is, even if, nothing bad happened!!! And Georgiana is finally able to sell her house. THE END!!!!!

OK, where to begin? Waste of talent on a script with so many plot holes! Academy award winner Colin Firth in this piece of shit? First of all, Harris. He was, despite being the most boring character, the most interesting one. He made an effort in his life, he worked for the girl he loved. Mary, on the other hand is pissed off throughout the whole movie. Then we find out actually she is in love with this poor bloke too. WHY the hell did you break up with him? Also, law school? He goes to law school for you! Don’t you think, that if your biggest problem is this town, that he would leave everything behind in a heartbeat for you? You just had to ask! Second, Georgiana. She says she lives in a house to big for her, but it is where she grew up. First of all, you could ask your only niece to move in with you, seeing that she is with you 24/7 because you need it. Not enough money? No wonder, she has to pay for an appartment she never gets to use! Also, if this house was her family’s, isn’t leaving it to your only descendant the rational thing to do? So much bitching, over nothing. Third, Gus. To be honest, I liked his southern accent, for a british guy it was quite good. Many complained about that as well, and they make a point. Other than that, he starts out as the bad guy only to turn into the moral compass of a story that doesn’t need no moral, because there is no mistake made that would require a lesson being learned. And lastly, the problem I too had all along, Durham isn’t a little decaying town. It is one of the most known towns in America, despite it’s measures. And yes, many small American towns face students and youngsters wanting to move on, leave the town. But it is those same people who come back to retire, it’s a circle, so despite a dozen of people, the habitants number is ALWAYS the SAME!

This movie is a waste of time. The fact that you expect the trucks to blow up all along (because the movie is built up that way) and then they don’t, isn’t a twist. It’s a dumb move. You want to shove moral down are throats when, as I said, there is no lesson. So the cannons were flipped over, crashed into the ground after falling several meters and no harm was done? You know what, this only embraces the work of men. Congratulations, we’ve invented something that actually works. Good job everybody (applause!). And that’s all. If you don’t want to waste time, don’t watch this movie. It’s not even worth it if you are a number 1 fan of either of these actors, trust me, they won’t mind!

Until the next item on my list!
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ 

Gus Leroy - Colin Firth
Harris Parker - Orlando Bloom
Mary Saunders - Amber Tamblyn
and
Georgiana Carr - Ellen Burstyn

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