Thursday, March 12, 2015

What's Next On my List? Game Of Thrones

Season One, Two, Three and Four

In anticipation of the fifth season - just one month to go! - I thought I would share my thoughts on what I have seen so far. First is first, if you like this show, don't read my review. I don't hate it, don't worry, but I do disagree with a couple of things and I will complain, not little, a lot! In case you don't want any spoilers than you shouldn't read at all because I will spoil, project ahead and try to find answers in any way I can.
Lastly, no, I have not read the books. I don't really like to read and well, I decided that I would only read them if the show got me interested - and the two storylines that did I was told were not in the books, only the show. So, there you go! Ready? Let's do this!

Season 1: I have chosen this picture to head this season specifically because it summarizes my feelings. They were mixed, but positive. I liked the idea and I liked the initial conflict. I had no idea where it was going and I was curious. Most importantly: I didn't hate anyone.
I was so curious and I knew about the show enough to know that I have to be in a special mood to watch it. And the best thing about it was the fact that I liked the little characters. The scenery and the smart dialogue, it all caught me by surprise. My favorite characters are Petyr and Varys, and all of their scenes deserve academy awards! I even liked the prostitutes' dialogues! They were simply very well written! Almost every detail was perfect and I can tell you that without having to think twice about it because it got everyone to look forward to the next season. Now, I liked the scenery too, but I have since seen illustrations of what the author actually had in mind and I am sorry it didn't go that way - perhaps if you spent more attention the design instead of the sex scenes we would be much better off!

On the subject of sex scenes: I don't want to go into detail, I will say this, however, some scenes bear such importance - like a rape scene in season 4 - that due to the fact that there is so much in it, some lose substance. Importance, in other words. The act of love, or simply put sex, should have a different tone, because you can pick out the ones where the book too tried to emphasize the importance of certain conjugal elements. I'm not against it, don't attack me! But, less is sometimes more!

This season killed someone I thought would become the main protagonist, Khal Drogo, in the dumbest possible way... that cut? He must have had worse cuts in his life! That was the first time I felt disappointed by this story. You could have at least cut his arm off or something... And people keep surviving the most horrible things and he really died from that? The warrior he was? I just laugh at this... in my ear I hear "Tis' but a scratch" by the Black Knight from Monty Python and the Holy Grail, in case you want me to ruin the first season for you completely! He gets all of his limbs cut off and still wants to fight!
(Update: I've just come across an article about jokes and insights that GoT threw in and only a few noticed, and number 7 was that Monty Python is everywhere! I feel proud I caught that! Click here for the whole article!)

Season 2: Oh good, another two thousand characters were added to the cast! This season was so memorable that I cannot recall what happened. Oh yeah, Jon Snow told everyone who his father is - as if he could still find anyone in the Seven Kingdoms who didn't already know! If I try really hard then I can also maybe recall a very painful relationship of Robb Stark with a woman he had absolutely no chemistry with and a couple of really cool conversations between Petyr 'Littlefinger' and Varys 'Spider'- but then again, that was about the only thing enjoyable in all of the seasons so far. OK, Arya working for Tywin Lannister was also really cool - an awesome addition to the show. And I say the show because I know it wasn't in the book. Another reason why I won't read it. I swear that for the life of me I can't recall anything else of interest in this season. I was hoping we would get to know more about the White Walkers, but that never happened. And Brann Stark seems to be the most interesting character and we see so little of him that I just don't care by the time they do get back to him...

Season 3: Meh... no. No. People told me that it will get better, it didn't. I hate Jon Snow. I hate Daenerys. I did not, however, hate Joffrey! And I don't really get why people keep hating him - that sick bastard who was torturing Theon on the other hand? Ramsay? He makes me scared to leave my room! Why doesn't everyone hate him instead? In comparison Joffrey is a scared little rabbit! Yes, admittedly he is not the most likable character, but I was so ready to hate him - after what I was told - but he barely got me irritated. And while on the subject of irritating... I will personally pay the author to kill of Theon! I just want him to die so bad... you have no idea! His character does NOTHING and we see him literally all the time! I can't think of one episode where he wasn't featured, and for that? His character was mushed and he doesn't even exist anymore. Such a waste of time - precious time!
I was not warned that I would like Jaime Lannister this much, but his character was very well constructed and I am happy about that. Also, Daenerys almost did something interesting, but every critical aspect of this season I encountered referred to the fact that she does not seem to want to move toward Westeros. Actually, she managed to build up a Kingdom almost bigger than the one she is supposed to inherit, why would you move? You have found people who cherish you and soldiers who follow you gladly. What would be the point in crossing the ocean, leaving behind all of this to be taken, only to rule in a city where you are no longer welcome? It's stupid. I know she is trying to build an army and all, but it looks like she is seeking every excuse in the world to not go back to Westeros... oh and now she's got another old fart advising her! Are you collecting them or something?

Season 4: This was the first season that made me understand why people are depressed over this show. How they fall in love with a character which then gets killed off. This was the first season that made me care for a side character and their death destroyed me. Oberyn Martell was his name, and in his last scene he recited "You raped her. You murdered her. You killed her children!", which reminded me of another character, Inigo Montoya from The Princess Bride, "Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die". Not sure if that was intentional, but I liked it. I was very sad when he died. And that is where my grief ended. I might be a heartless bitch, but I did not care when anyone else who died. Ingrith? Won't miss her. Sandor Clegane? ... maybe, but he had it coming. Joffrey? Didn't change much, honestly.
Then, for me, the most disgusting thing happened: Daenerys locked up 2 of her 3 dragons. Favoritism much? What kind of a mother are you? I understand that you had to make a hard choice, considering your people and all, but dear god, lock them all up then! Or teach them, if you can control 1, why can't you control the other ones?! It was in that exact moment that I lost the last shred of care I ever had for this character!
In the end this was the best of all the seasons because we started to see the true color of most of the characters and I enjoyed that very much. Brianne of Tarth's adventures to find Arya; Sansa and Petyr; Tyrion's trial; Cersei's relationship with Jamie? All well written, interesting and they have shown development since the first time we had seen them. My new favorite character was Margaery: I loved how she manipulated Joffrey, and really, anyone around her! It was quite amusing. I personally loved that she didn't abuse Sansa's honesty and that her grandmother is her closest confidant. She showed us that she can play the game as well as Cersei does, without actually betraying the trust of those around her. It's a great take on the character, in my opinion. Lastly, Jon Snow... no. Don't care.

Now, let's go more into detail about my problems with the show itself. The Stark children: just one died out of the 5 and yet the story of the others one are so badly told that I keep forgetting they are still alive! I have the feeling that the Stark family is no more (or was that their aim?), and yet, most of the family is alive and well and on their path to something greater! Arya is simply fantastic, but to be honest with you, my favorite is Sansa. I knew she had to become something really cool and her last scenes, were she helps Petyr and kind of taunts him... chills ran down my spine! I wouldn't mind a show about just these two! And while on the subject of the Stark children, their wolves... Where the hell is Arya's wolf? I had to ask a friend who read the book and she told me that yes, her wolf is very much in the story and their meeting will be essential but the show messed up on this big time. They keep talking about how important they are, how they have become one with the children, and I am supposed to believe that after Arya spent ALL OF HER TIME in the forest for 3 seasons, her wolf didn't come around to find her? It doesn't make any sense! One sentence, people, this is something you could've explained with one sentence!
I'm not going to go into the wait because... why should I? You know what the problem is, three episodes pass before we get back to one character and even then they don't show them enough. I also think Jon Snow is an asshole, after four season I still don't understand why the wildlings can't come over the wall! Have you met Joffrey? You have far worse monsters on this side of the Kingdom! Those poor souls are running from the one thing that - I hope - will actually kill everyone in the story. Why do yu want to kill them so bad? Let's move on then to the cool part of the show: The White Walkers - AWESOME. More of them, please! Why do you show so little? No, I don't care about the King of the North; no, I don't care about Daenary's lack of motherly feelings or how many old farts give her advice she doesn't listen to; no, I don't want to know which of her relatives is Cersei's currently sleeping with! GIVE ME THE ZOMBIES!!! And if not the zombies, then more of the side characters! My favorite scene in the whole four season was when Varys put Tyrion on a boat and then he looked up at the castle and you could clearly see the sentiment of "Oh... f*ck it" before getting on the boat to leave this wretched and corrupt place behind.
Oh and I watched the first two seasons without subtitles and, although I thought I had a good ear for British pronunciation, I then found out that Casterly Rock and Castle Black were actually two different places... you might want to work on your enunciation...

BIGGEST DUMBEST PLOT HOLE OF ALL: Everyone receives a letter about the White Walkers, everyone, there is a scene dedicated to it and yet Stannis Baratheon is the ONLY one that replies? He is the only one that arrives to Castle Black? How can he be the only one who gives a shit about the pending doom of the whole Kingdom? (I don't know about you, but just that alone would make me want to give Him the throne...). At the end of the day I should be glad that the fat kid - sorry, Sam - survived, because it gives me hope in case of a zombie apocalypse, but I am so used to them dying first that I feel sad that Sam is still alive. That is how much this show makes me enraged!
And I have come to the conclusion that I will not watch it anymore. First of all, I am curious, but only about the faith of 5 characters (Petyr, Sansa, Arya, Varys and Tyrion). Second, I hate snakes. The tagline for the trailer of the fifth season said 'snakes' and I haven't seen the trailer still. So, unless a brave friend watches it with me to let me know when to close and open my eyes, I will not watch the next season. It is quite unlikely that I will find anyone when the show actually airs, so either marathon or nothing.

That said, have fun watching! I had fun writing this down, and I had discussions with people who have read the books and I have not gotten closer to the answers. Why? I have found, surprisingly, that most of my question actually came from the show's innovations and not the stories that both mediums share. So a lot of them cannot be answered yet. But I like that, I like that their answer is not 'read the book'.

Until the next item on my list!

PS: "Winter is coming"? More like any other season... Still related, Sean Bean... like, are you doing it on purpose or something?
And finally, me, on the iron throne. I look good, wouldn't you say? This show needs a queen!

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